so.. i graduated from college about a year ago with a degree in psychology. since then i've been living at home, got my yoga license, work at a raw food cafe, and am spending a lot of time exploring my spirituality. my mom wants to see me support myself.. and i find it very frustrating. she doesn't see any progress in this over the past year. i however feel that i have matured a great amount spiritually and emotionally.. and this is important to me. how would u handle the situation? from kenziehfay
My first two years after college were spent living at home, doing unpaid internships, and jobseeking. So if it makes you feel better, you’re certainly better off than I was at the time! :P
Like you, I used that time to mature my awareness and emotions. I confronted habits and perspectives that many can spend their whole lives without bothering to stop and see. Yet from the outside, it looked wholly unremarkable to most people. In fact, many simply saw me as treading water—making no “progress.”
When I made the decision to go back to school to pursue medicine, I still faced a wall of negativity from many people in my life. Their concept of me was as a creative individual, not someone given to the hard sciences. And yet were it not for the mental, emotional, and spiritual unfolding I allowed during my time living at home, I would not have been able to handle the premedical program I am now halfway through.
I went from receiving an academic warning for my grades being too low after my first semester to being on the dean’s list for honors after the second semester.
Ultimately, the perspective you receive from the outside is shallow and limited. People will only see you in terms of how they see themselves. You cannot expect recognition of things from people who do not have the eyes to see them.
But at the same time, it would not be healthy to blame or accuse others for being blind. We are all doing and seeing to our utmost. All you can do is be understanding, patient, and lead by example. Which of course isn’t easy when you’re still figuring stuff out.
All I can say is to keep moving forward with your growth. What is taking form on the subtle levels of mind and emotion will undoubtedly have effects on the unfolding of the physical circumstances in which you live.
One of the biggest obstacles this process will free you from is the dependance on the approval of family and friends. It is not that you should just throw all thoughts of others to the wind and do your own thing. But now you need to be able to contextualize the feedback you are receiving from others. Don’t just hear what they say but hear the place from which they are speaking. Then there is always something for you to be learning in the process.
Your mother is being a mother. She wants to see you capable of taking care of yourself in this difficult society. She worries, she wont necessarily see clearly, but her intentions are for you to be happy and independent. This is a challenge all post-grads must find their own way through. Despite all the hoopla about the “college experience,” it makes me sincerely doubt the education system when it forces students to go into debt just to be unable to find a job.
Not everyone comes out of it sanely. Daily meditation and patience certainly helped me through it. Seeing a therapist can be helpful too, as they tend to help keep things in perspective.
Also, given your studies in psychology and your integration of yoga, perhaps therapy might be a route you would be interested in pursuing professionally? God knows we will need more therapists if this country keeps going in the direction it is currently.
Namaste sis. I feel you. :) Much love.